Category Archives: learnactshare

Perception and Security

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What is your ultimate sense of security? Machine guns and barbed wire? Or an environment of trust? In the end your perception of how safe you feel is the ultimate measure.

by Pete Ferguson

Several years ago I visited South Asia for the first time. I had been assured by many that the city I was going to was one of the safest cities they had been to because on every street corner were men with machine guns and body armor and that at each of our facilities and hotels were metal detectors and TSA-type security.

I was led to believe my visit was unnecessary and that I’d likely be finished with my assessment within hours.

I ignored the advice and planned several days figuring I could always change my flights and come home early.

Usually with security, the more show up front, the more hidden skeletons in the closet behind the curtain.

I took along a coworker with military experience and connections within the cities we would visit to get a better perspective.

Upon arriving at the airport, my traveling companion quickly pointed out that many of the machine guns were either fake or had no triggers. We were able to strike up a conversation with many of the guards and get them talking. Training was non-existent. Most had never fired a gun or fired once during their training academy. Many of the guns were in fact inoperable or had the barrel welded shut.

We finally found a gun that looked to be able to actually fire but there were no bullets. When we pointed this out to the guard, he smiled and quickly pulled a single bullet from out of his pocket. When asked if this was his personal bullet, he said it was passed from guard-to-guard between shifts. His hands were black from the gun powder and my friend asked if he could examine the bullet to which the guard obliged (we now had his only one …)

The bullet spun easily within its casing and the little remaining gun powder was spilling out.

As we proceeded to each of our facilities, we found that either the metal detectors were non-functional, not plugged in, or that the guards would not challenge us when we did set off a beep.

Of particular hilarity was a hand wand that the officer waved over us. We asked to examine it. It was a piece of wood carved and painted – quite expertly – to mimic a metal detector. At least in this case, the guard had a hand weapon that could do some pretty serious damage.

At other sites we examined multiple times there were no batteries or power supplies even installed on the real metal detectors.

From an American perspective, this seems like a “not in my back yard” kind of problem. Unfortunately in the US I’ve found on multiple occasions that regardless of what security may appear to be on first glance, hold a door open in the facility and get a good book, because no one is going to come and check on it for some time. When we follow up and go to the security office, the alarm may still be blinking on the screen, or the officer will say it never appeared, or they will say they deleted it because there is no manpower to go and check on these things.

Many in the industry will cite this is due to a lack of training. I’ve found the the training manuals in the office, the officers will swear they have read it.

Training is important. But Security is only the end sum of a collective group of action. Security is more than “guards and cards.” Good security only comes about when a culture – cultivated from all levels of the organization – is created and supported at every level.

Unfortunately I’ve seen the same dog-and-pony shows in America. Guards with biceps bigger than my leg, but hold a door open and wait a while, no one is coming.

Security is a management function. If local management does not participate, it is all for show.

Your job as a manager is to spend 80% of your time creating and strengthening relationships with upper management to get their buy in to your job function, and 20% guiding the competent staff you’ve hired to keep raising the bar and looking for creative ways to get stuff done better, faster, smarter, and continually showing how the company’s financial investment is paying off.

While my responsibilities were in Asia, thanks to a very dedicated team, I was able to partner very effectively with management in facilities, legal, government relationship and operations and we were able to move great strides in the right direction. That is one of the things I greatly enjoy about my current company – management at all levels are expected to participate and be involved.

Whether I’ve cleaned toilets, refinished floors, or worked to expand security globally, the principles have been the same. Perception is everything – at first. And then you need to back it up and constantly check for complacency and increase competency on the back end.

The real understanding of your worth comes over a long period of time when you continually prove you are as good as or better than the first impression.

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What is Your Shelf Life?

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It’s really clear to me that you can’t hang onto something longer than its time. Ideas lose certain freshness, ideas have a shelf life, and sometimes they have to be replaced by other ideas. ~ Alan Alda

by Pete Ferguson

Having a great idea is great. Taking action on it is even better. But as soon as I start to rest on my laurels, the expiration of greatness can sneak up on me and begin to stink.

It’s funny, because we can see other’s shelf life easily – It’s the guy who has been in the job for over a decade and always wants to talk about the good old days (um, sometimes that’s me!).

Or it is the gal who came up with a great idea and was recognized for it … five years ago … and hasn’t done much since.

Within my profession, there is a certification that requires taking a pretty difficult test (the test is difficult, not the knowledge the test is supposed to be validating). People expect that gaining the three letters CPP, PCP, or PSP behind their name is supposed to somehow ensure greatness for the coming decades. Same goes for PhD, DDS, etc. The shelf life of the letters expires the Monday after you received them. Party is over, time to look for the next great thing.

I find I’m happiest when I’m focused on the road ahead instead of what is fading away in the rear view mirror.

An acting career usually has about a shelf life of ten years before people get sick of seeing you. It’s a good thing to have a job to fall back on and I really do enjoy directing. ~ George Clooney

Understanding your own shelf life takes practice and humility.

Jerry Seinfield pulled the plug on his show when everyone else thought there was another season or two. Smart move. Michael Jordan retired in his prime.

Intellectual property has the shelf life of a banana. ~ Bill Gates

The moments in my life that are most disappointing occur when I didn’t see change coming. I didn’t realize my shelf life on a project or in a position had long since expired. But everyone around me knew it! I had begun to stink in yesterday’s success.

So how do you keep from expiring? I have a few thoughts, but I’m mostly interested in yours:

  1. Read. Read. Read some more. Study the lives of great people and learn from their successes and failures.
  2. Read outside of your genre. I’m in the physical security profession, but I read about psychology, coaching, technology, cars, etc.
  3. Be sure to have a few good mentors who will tell you how it is straight up. If they are hurting your feelings, good, that means they smell what you are not smelling.
  4. Listen more than you talk. Also consider hiring a career coach.
  5. Every year commit to stop doing about 1/3 of what you are currently doing and replace it with big, bold, challenging tasks – that way you are a new person every three years.

This is where I need you to chime in – because your perspective will benefit me more than me typing a few more words. Selfish, I know, but lay it on straight. My WordPress theme is really stale, my writing is getting predictable … lay it on. Or let me know what tricks you have used over the years to keep it fresh.

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The Importance of Mothers

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Motherhood is the greatest potential influence either for good or ill in human life. The mother’s image is the first that stamps itself on the unwritten page of the young child’s mind. ~ President David O. McKay

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by Pete Ferguson

I’m traveling for work this week, but wanted to drop a line about moms. Especially since I’m married to one of the best moms I know.

It is amazing to see my wife transform over the years to being a great mom. It requires a selflessness I can’t match, but work to emulate. 

Miles – almost three – will often say “I want my mom” as though I am some stranger and regardless of how much fun we are having together. At night he dives for her when I sit down with him on the bed. Not fair in a way, but I’m glad he feels loved. 

My mom sacrificed much to raise six children. She was at home when we arrived and defended us when we got into trouble – then talked to us later about our actions. 

I’ve had a lot of fun with my mom in recent years. While living in Hong Kong, I would travel for business and she and I would tour the Great Buddah, or take a ferry to a new island and explore. 

It is amazing the power women have on us. Men too, but our relationship with our mothers started physically 8-9 months prior to our fathers. 

If you are a mom – I hope you had a great Mother’s Day!

This Post is Super-Awesome

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by Pete Ferguson

If you have ever blogged in WordPress (and you have turned on the “surprise me” feature), you are likely aware that there is a box to be checked just before you publish or update a blog entitled: “This post is super-awesome.”

I didn’t click it the first few weeks of blogging.

Why?

Because I wasn’t sure if my posts could qualify. I mean, what if there is a panel somewhere who judges and writes back, “Dear Pete, please stop checking that box, your post wasn’t super, and it wasn’t awesome. We will be removing this function and adding a box for ‘this post is kinda okay today, not great, but the best I could do.’”

Apparently I’m not the only one who was a bit perplexed by the option to decide if my post is in fact “super-awesome.” There are several FAQs if you search Google for “This post is super-awesome” where fellow bloggers hash out why the box is there.

WordPress has been fairly silent as to what it does, further driving bloggers crazy. They have even installed multiple browsers and tried all kinds of combinations of activities to see if they can reveal the true identity.

Allow me to quell all discussions, debates, debacles, disappointments and deliberations.

If you can’t click the box, don’t publish.

Writing is more for the author than the audience in my experience. It helps me unlock mysteries in my mind because as I type I see things from a different perspective. I learn, I grow a little. Several hundred of you have replied and further added to the experience.

So now I confidently click the box, because for me and my purposes, I think it’s pretty awesome that for almost one year I’ve kept to my long-term goal of regular writing four times a week.

Sure I’m not winning NYT or other awards, but for me, I love it and it has been a great way to bless lives – mostly my own, granted. I was able to provide an outlet for thousands of people to mourn and remember a great person when he passed. It has allowed a daughter of that employee who had been away from her father for a very long time get an insight as to the impression he was able to make.

I’ve connected with people from all over the world. I now learn and grow from reading what they have to say. I’ve connected people of great talent who would perhaps not otherwise met.

So as opposed to a paper journal where my musings might have been discovered 100 years after I’m dead, this ability to post is super-awesome.

Thanks WordPress.

Now take this principle one step further. What kind of day are you determining now you are going to have? I’d like WordPress to add one more feature:

awesomeday

Forcing the Fit

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If a square peg doesn’t fit a round hole, neither the peg nor the hole is to blame. ~ Jeffrey Bryant

by Pete Ferguson

Last night I came home to a very tearful and broken seven-year-old daughter.

Recently we needed to find a new piano teacher for my kids, so we did our research and identified the “best” teacher in the area. Her resume of experience and education was excellent. We were convinced that this is what our family needed and scheduled an interview.

She met with each of our children and it seemed like a good fit – except that she warned her style works better for older children. Wanting to keep everyone together, we forced the fit.

Now my daughter, Ashley, was beginning to question her self-worth because she was clashing with the strict personality of this expert teacher. She let her emotions go at her lesson yesterday and it didn’t end well, and as a result we are now in search of a better teacher/student personality fit.

How many times have you heard “grin and bear it?”

“Suck it up?”

Sometimes that is needed to get through a rough patch, but I’m learning that upon hearing these phrases in my mind or coming out of other people’s mouths that it is also a potential indicator that there is not a good fit and something needs to change.

… the problem with pounding a square peg into a round hole is not that the hammering is hard work. It’s that you’re destroying the peg. ~ Paul Collins

At work I’ve similarly witnessed a bad fit – and at very senior levels. I recall years ago being asked to organize a vehicle to pick up a new VP and entourage. My company is known for the CEO sitting in a cubicle and leadership who are approachable.

The new guy was supposed to be “the guy” to take our company to the next level. He was cold and standoffish. He treated me like the hired help while every other senior leader I’ve worked around has always taken time to ask my name and a little about me.

I recall at the time thinking – the startup ride is finally over, we are now going to be like everybody else and our culture of friendly people would be going away.

Thankfully he didn’t last very long. Despite his resume and experience, his personality wasn’t a good fit and he moved on to another opportunity.

The same has happened for people on my team over the years. Great experience. Great education. Great references. But in the end, it hasn’t been a good fit and no one was happy.

I’ve found that I’m a square peg and I need to avoid trying to slip into circular holes where a lot of pressure and change must be applied for me to “fit.”

Within the many civic, religious, business, and personal responsibilities you have, there are likely situations that are not a great fit. Today is the day to identify it and search for where you will fit in better.

It is different than just quitting – it is providing an opportunity for you and the organization to soar to new heights by removing a roadblock.

What relationships are you trying to force? Maybe it is time for a different approach.

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Self-Absorbed [Insert Explicative]

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Being a man doesn’t mean machismo. It means understanding and owning up to your responsibilities and treating others with respect and care. “Captain Zero” clearly doesn’t get this as you will read below.

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by Pete Ferguson

Saturday morning I was enjoying a leisurely breakfast with Abbie, age 9 at a quaint little cafe in Salt Lake. She had been pretty quiet all morning, but after her first hot chocolate she began to perk up and we were having a good time laughing and talking.

I noticed a man in his 20′s walk in. It was the blue t-shirt that matched his Hurley hat and how he walked to ensure everyone could see his biceps bulging and his refusal to hold his arms at anything but a 45 degree angle that gave him away as a bit of a dweeb. I could tell he had spent considerable time grooming to portray the image he wanted everyone to see when he entered.

Good for him, I thought, to be young and shallow minded again without many cares in the world.

He sat at a large table by himself and I quickly forgot he was there as I was paying attention to Abbie.

About fifteen minutes later in front of the restaurant a young mom was running and laughing with her little boy, they were racing to the corner of the street and both looked to be at a 10 in happiness and having a great time. They came rushing into the cafe and walked towards the back.

She was energetic, beaming with joy and at peace and in love with her little man.

The moment was one for Hallmark until she circled around the table, sat down and reached over to try and give Mr. Hurley a hug and a kiss and he pushed her away.

As father with three daughters, this is the part where I want to get violent with Mr. Hurley who I now rebrand Captain Zero.

The young mother’s body language immediately changed. Her face and shoulders drooped. She slide to the opposite side of her chair. She tried to play brave to her son and talk to him as Captain Zero needed to sit there with both arms in the 45 degree flex mode so he could contemplate his image.

A few moment’s later, a smiling dad with a tiny baby girl in his arm entered the cafe. He knew Captain Zero and sat down at the table as well and a moment later they were all joined by another young mother with a similarly-aged boy as the first.

The two males talked much, but ignored the ladies – leaving them to introduce themselves and their sons to each other. The tension was palatable across the restaurant.

CaptainZeroEventually Captain Zero decided it was okay for the first female to be acknowledged and grabbed her chair and pulled her away from her son and to him and invited her to rub his sore shoulders. From time to time he would grab her and pull him to her, expecting her to be thrilled with the attention and then just as quickly, he’d ignore her and talk to his friend and she would try to make her way back to her son before being summoned again.

It takes two to tango. I had to wonder what has happened in her life to allow this to be acceptable – unfortunately perhaps “normal” – behavior to put up with. Where is her father? How did he treat her growing up? What would he think of Captain Zero’s behavior?

One of my greatest fears is that one of my daughters will fall into this trap. I spend a lot of time talking to them about what is acceptable behavior and try to show them as much love as I can in hopes that they will set their “normal” bar pretty high and run from the Captain Zero’s in this world.

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Comfort Zone

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by Pete Ferguson

This morning I got up and ran three miles with my wife.

While I enjoyed running into exhaustion in high school and college to work out stress, chronic back pain and a knee surgery halted my running career for what I thought to be forever about ten years ago.

But then I hired several good coaches. A physical trainer who himself had gone through back surgery trained my secondary muscles to better support my body and balance out my core.

A great physical therapist taught me how to stand and stretch properly. A fantastic running coach taught me to stand up straight while running, loosen up my hips, and take longer strides.

Each pushed me well beyond my comfort zone and taught me that I had all of the answers around me if I opened up my eyes wide enough to look and learn.

I’ve also always enjoyed writing. I was complemented early on in high school for being able to crank out a term paper overnight the day it was due and have it be good quality. As a result I would get easy “A” grades and so I didn’t work very hard at it.

Then I entered college and in one semester I took a journalism, business writing, and creative writing class all at the same time. It was one of the most grueling experiences because each style of writing had its own set of rules, but I had two great teachers and the school paper editor to whip me into shape.

I went into a very protracted sabbatical where I didn’t write for many years and now I’m getting back into it and thankfully once again I have people around me constantly challenging me to be better. To write more from the heart.

If you are stuck in a rut or want to improve an area of your life, it is time to hire a coach. Invest serious money to where it hurts. The task should be pushing the limits of your comfort zone to the point you wonder if it is worth it. Then commit and push yourself even harder than your coach is pushing. If you have the right coach it will seem an impossible task, but the results are worth the journey.

And if you are scared to start something, listen to my good literary friend and mentor Eleanor Roosevelt:

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Opinion

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What people in the world think of you is really none of your business. ~ Martha Graham

by Pete Ferguson

I’m an expert in one area beyond anyone else in the world. I’m certain of it.

It doesn’t make me smart, necessarily. But it can make me feel smug. Or it can make me feel confident, insecure, delusional, or arrogant.

Regardless of study or the amount of time you spend with me, you will never be as expert as I am in this one area, though you may be able to give me additional insight I’ve not yet seen.

I am an expert on my own opinion.

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Of course I do not think I’m always right – experience, the opinions of others, maturity and self-reflection all help me in that area – but I do always have my opinion to fall back on.

As I gain more years of experience (we won’t call it age …), I realize that my opinion is based on so little understanding. So I do my best to withhold judgement. I’m working harder to try and analyze without coming to too many opinions too quickly.

I’m succeeding more than ever, I’m still failing enough to keep me humble and self-aware.

The journey really began when I found a quote that shattered my inner world:

I shared this with my wife and we do our best to constantly move towards discussing ideas. If a person has crossed one of us – or at least we felt they did – we will start talking about the person, then move towards the surrounding event, then work to migrate to the larger ideas.

Reality TV is the ultimate brain drug for remaining in the sphere of talking about people – people you’ve never even met or know. You can talk about it for hours, days and years and make little to no progress.

How crazy is that?

When I reflect back at the end of the day to where I spent the most time, I’m always most pleased when I have focused more time on ideas than events or people. Around the dinner table we try to talk about situations and events that happened in our lives with our kids. They love to hear what a mess we were when we were their age emotionally.

It means I’m contributing to the world in a beneficial way.

What’s inside of your head?

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Tiaras in My Man Cave

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A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. What do you mean? responded her mother. Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came back with another. ~ Unknown

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by Pete Ferguson

About a year ago my wife gave me a sanctuary within our home – she converted the family office into a man cave just for me. She went out and bought the furnishings, framed pictures in dark brown and furnished the room in nice manly colors and textures.

The agreement we have is that I can dump my stuff and shut the door. I don’t have to have it tidy, just presentableThe agreement we have is that I can dump my stuff and shut the door. I don’t have to have it tidy, just presentable as it is on the main level and having the door open allows for additional natural light for the music room. It is a bit of a consolation prize for when I gave up my previous den – the home theater – to Steph’s preschool.

The original intention is for this room to be the one place that is mine in the entire house where we share square footage with five kids, six instruments, and lots of female decorations and entrappings.  When I need a time out, I can go into my cave, close the door, and have a break for a few moments. It is like a get out of jail free card in Monopoly – I don’t get many and I have to use them sparingly for it to be fair to all involved.

It has been fantastic, and it is where the majority of my writing and reading is done in the late and early hours of the day while the rest of the house is still sleeping.

What I have found, however, is that the rest of family has moved in when I am not around. Legos from Miles are a regular find when I come home from work, Mark seems to think my desk is his desk and it is usually a complete mess.

And then ever so subtly several weeks ago, I noticed three tiaras atop a stack of books.

At first I was a bit annoyed.

I had envisioned that this room was the one sterilized “Me Zone.” But I left them there as a subtle reminder that one of my greatest responsibilities is to raise three women who will have great self confidence and not have to go seeking for male validation outside of the home.

Now I get a great kick out of knowing that the kids miss me when I’m gone and that they want a piece of my man cave. When I am gone for several days, they will congregate within and that is how they connect with me.

Family life is an interesting balance of enough “me time” to continue my personal growth and development and time that needs to be donated to serve others and focus on their growth and development.

The modern man isn’t the guy who disappears on a horse into the Wild West for months at a time to earn enough money for the family to survive. The modern man has to be engaged in what is going on around him, sacrifice time, money, and attention to the needs of others.

One day in the not so distant future I will sit in this man cave alone during the day. The house will be silent and I will long for the pitter patter of tiny footsteps and hope that the grandchildren will soon come and mess up my man cave. For now I’m living the dream and enjoying every moment of it!

“…I’ve made it my business to observe fathers and daughters. And I’ve seen some incredible, beautiful things. Like the little girl who’s not very cute – her teeth are funny, and her hair doesn’t grow right, and she’s got on thick glasses – but her father holds her hand and walks with her like she’s a tiny angel that no one can touch. He gives her the best gift a woman can get in this world: protection. And the little girl learns to trust the man in her life. And all the things that the world expects from women – to be beautiful, to soothe the troubled spirit, heal the sick, care for the dying, send the greeting card, bake the cake – allof those things become the way we pay the father back for protecting us…”  ~ Adriana Trigiani, Big Stone Gap

Control FREAK

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It’s not like I let people do things for me, so I guess you can call me a control freak, or you can call me passionate. ~ Courtney Cox

by Pete Ferguson

This morning a friend shared that over the weekend she was labeled a “Control Freak” in a sentence that went something like this … “it’s not like you’d understand, you are a control freak.”

Them’s fight’n words.

Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. ~ Carrie Fisher

Or it is simply an insecure person’s opinion and way of making themselves feel better about themselves.

Either way, it is a fiery dart lodged by someone trying to either be funny or do harm. And it is that person’s poison poured into a nice tall, inviting, cold glass. But you have to choose to drink it if you are going to feel insulted.

Or you spill it out on the floor, realize it is their problem and not yours and move on. Later when emotions are calmed down, you could approach the person and ask them why they used that label and try and learn from it.

Or you could just ignore it and move on.

Either way, you get to be in control of the situation, and of your emotions.

Easier said then done – right?

I’ve found that once I can distance emotion and remove it from the equation, it is much easier to understand the dynamics of what is going on and reduces the urge to gouge someone’s eyes out or shove their tongue down their throat.

I watch it with my children, they know just what to say to spin each other into outer orbit. 2-3 words can result in an hour of fighting and crying. I won’t admit to it … but I might have been the same way when I was an older brother to three little sisters. I wanted to feel significance and control and they made it so easy. But I won’t admit to it.

Words are paper tigers. They can only do us harm when we let them. But we so often let them.

My wife, Stephanie is what others label a “neat freak.” That means that with five children, our house is often clean. It is often dirty as well. And guess what, if we know you are coming over, we clean first, shove the laundry back into the dryer, or fold it quickly. But every morning the kids know they have to have their beds made and clothes put away before they leave for school. Same goes for the kitchen and music room. I’m not sure that should be filed under “freak?”

I’m a total control freak and love to participate in the design of every single aspect of life. ~ Drew Barrymore

What I’ve found from those who have labeled her a “neat freak” is that their homes are usually what could be labeled as a “pig stye.” So it isn’t an insult to Steph as much as it is a reflection on the individual trying to better their feelings by throwing their emotional mud at Steph.

So MH, live up being a control freak. Thanks for kicking our butts into shape and providing organization and control to my physical health. If that is what is considered a control freak – then the world needs a lot more control freaks – so I’m reminded every time I go to Wal-Mart.

Have a freaky weekend!

I’m incredibly neurotic and a control freak. I like the thought that if there’s going to be anyone to blame it’s going to be me. ~ Laura Marling

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